It's Raining, It's Leaving...Leafing..?

"Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile."
-William Cullen Bryant

It was a dry morning, but the sky seemed to flirt with the idea of crying. Instead it decided to heave a heavy sigh over the town and release all the loose leaves barely clutching to their branches. As I drove down Deadwood, cars passing each other tossed leaves up in a furry, the road seemed as if it were in a snow globe turned upside down. (Now is a good time to listen to Passenger Seat by Death Cab for Cutie)

In this whirl of a drive home I was feeling rather accomplished for it only being 2:15 in the afternoon. I felt accomplished in life, I felt contented in what I have become, and yet anxious to begin the new season. The leaves and later the downpour of rain, reminded me of this last week I spent in Holland, Michigan. I left for the small college town so eager to see my Justin, and tried to put aside my frustration with myself for not knowing where to go from here. For the first few days I was able to set aside reality and just enjoy being there. After some time of listening to stories of where these students were, what God was doing, and spending time with Justin, I came to realize the magnificent work God has been doing in my life. I gained some perspective while I was away from work and family. It was exactly what I needed. I fell in love all over again, with Justin, with my God. I met some truly wonderful people, that I am so privileged to have met, yet kind of sad I didn't know them earlier in my life. The time spent in worship during the chapel services made me realize just how hungry I am for deeper fellowship and a church body. Anyway, in short, I didn't want to leave. (This is when I look down and smile in slow motion)

Driving in the furry of leaves, under the purple sky, I was reminded of my last week. I was reminded of the peace of Autumn evenings. I remembered what it was like to shed my life of it's leaves. I'm ready to sit back in this mellow quieted town and paint it. I'm ready to watch them fall in slow motion, to see people move in slow motion. Part of me was dreading this next month, but I will choose to approach it with a silent wonder, and remember why I loved this season before.

Choose to love.
Choose to observe.
Choose to attain your goals.
Choose to hear the symphony.
Choose to live today, sometimes it's all we get.
....and step out of your way to hear some leaves crunch under you.

What Will You Notice?

"I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars."
-Walt Whitman

When I sat in the bus station, I sat alone. Hundreds of feet, all with different shoes of different colors walked in the patterns of a shoots and ladders board across the vast, open, echoing atrium. There, in the midst of the mad scuffle, stood a lone pigeon. He stood proud as if he would call himself a dove. The one legged ragged mess of a creature stood proud, tall, and sang his song. His cooing was so soft, and he carried about him the same pride the subway singers carry, and the talented and homeless harmonica players in the park. He was not noticed by anyone, but I watched him sing tall and proud.

When I walked along the rolling green countryside, I walked alone. The sky was extravagant, plush with white clouds, painted in orange. The hills played with their shadows creating a myriad of shades of green. The sheep ran along the fence with me as I walked. Their stark white against the green made them seem even more pure. Amidst all this, there I saw him. In all the grandeur of what was around, there was a lone sheep, no bigger than a few weeks old, black as black could be, curled up under the hedge. Sleeping deeply and contently, without a care. By doing nothing, this sheep was speaking everything to me. In a world of white, of extravagance, he slept as soundly as if he were the whitest, most extravagant of them all. He slept soundly.

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven."
-Ecclesiastes 3:1

Mom used to tell me I had an eye for detail, which may be why it is hard for me to see the bigger picture. There is a lot of uncertainty in my life right now, but some things are certain. I certainly have an awesome future to look forward to. I certainly have love and support. And what might seem like a small detail in a whirl of a life, can make all the difference in the world, to the right person. The small details in God's plan for my life are making all the difference in getting me through the day, and eventually to where my heart longs to be. Small details, like a comforting meal, an "I love you", and even a cap gun.