Life Is Bigger Than Me

To truly live life is difficult, and at times incredibly overwhelming. Here I sit, mid-week of what has become a crazy schedule. Between work and school I barely have time to breathe let alone sleep and do my homework. Somehow though, God has blessed me with little pockets of time to just take in all He is doing.

I am now working up at Camp Sugar Pine in the kitchen on the weekends. It is hard work, and then shifts are long, but it is such a blessing to have work. I think once I told my boss at the Cool Bean how much my living expenses are, she has more than doubled my work hours, which is even more of a blessing. So, I work Monday through Friday at the bean, Friday through Sunday at the camp, and go to school Tuesdays Thursdays. Phew! I thank God for the moments He has blessed me with to just stop and praise Him. The other day after work I came home to an empty house and I was so ready to just crash in bed, but like a ton weight I found myself staring outside at the gorgeous green grass and rolling hills without a cloud in the sky "Korina, go outside you idiot" So rather than doing what I would have later regretted, I propped my comfy floor pillow out on the deck and soaked in the sun, put on some music and thanked God for the blessing of His creation, for providing that half hour of rest and amazement. In that moment I thought of a lot of things, mostly of my eagerness to just be where I want to be, attain my goals, go where I am called, be what I am supposed to be. Here I am thinking of the exhaustive future, and I am missing the glory around me. Then I remembered what my mom said to me from the Lord once, and my heart was again at peace "Certainly run ahead, take in the glimpses. Dance in the journey. To attain it all, turn around, take my hand and dance with me. Not before me but with me."

There are so many things to plan and look forward to. I am dreaming big dreams with Justin, and we are both seeking the Lord's direction and asking for patience and discernment about when we will commit our lives to each other. That in it of itself is very overwhelmingly awesome, but any prayers you guys could throw out for us are greatly appreciated. He just needs some prayer for perseverance, that he could take it a day at a time and really hear the Lord's voice in his crazy schedule. Also, if you could all be praying about his acceptance into the Culinary Institute. I do not doubt his likelihood to get in, but just him knowing will set his mind at ease. It is so difficult being away from the person God is drawing you near to, but it is doing us so much good. It is just a discipline I never expected. I feel so undeserving of all God has given me with this man. I am so excited to get to go to Holland. In 16 days I will be able to see Justin again and go to Winter Fantasia with him, really I am so excited to dress up and hit the town, and see everybody I met last time all over again too. I will be sure take lots of pictures and facebook em as soon as I can, so no worries ladies, you will all get in on it ;) So, long story short, we are happily dancing in this journey with our Savior.

Life is so over my head it's amazing. All the details and all the planning and complications, and joys and responsibilities, and of course the love that goes into living. After all, God is life, so of course life is bigger than me. My only hope is that the role I am playing in it reflects my makers.

So, I heard a funny thing yesterday. Rick and Sonya Mazaira told me the latest of their daughter Zoey's awesome quotes. In the bathroom stall at Von's Zoey shouted to her mom "Mommy I am a good pooper. Pooping makes you strong!" BAH hahaha, oh man I laughed so hard when I heard that, I thought some of you might appreciate it as well. I was leaning toward retelling a joke my dad made up the other day, but I thought I would spare you all the pain and confusion :S

So, I close on my thought for this week:
Life is big and complex and loud and crazy and we all have a place in it and we all need each other...obviously. What is not so obvious, are the details we will miss in feeling overwhelmed. There could be a moment of quiet you are supposed to find, or confirmation from a friend you need to hear, if you will just be willing to see it, or hear it. This world has a lot of ugly, but it also has a lot of good. Praise God in the ugly then gain sight for the good. And remember pooping makes you stronger!