I love him

and that's all I have to say about that :) yay for a day on the town tomorrow!

Quiet Intruder

The things that cannot hide are honest.

I am continually baffled by the human heart and it's capacity for love. I feel like sometimes as I make myself vulnerable to honesty and to love, I am filled with all the more desire for love itself. So, because I feel like being honest and showing love in such a season as this. I will express with what little words I have the love that I feel.

The snow fell quietly the other night. It had melted by the morning, but what I got to see was worth it. I am reminded of one winter I was waken up around 3 a.m. by mom. It was the first snow of the year in our new house and she sneaked into my room and kissed my forehead and whispered "It's snowing out bean!" the two of us crawled up to my window and gazed out like little children as our breath fogged up the glass. After I crawled back into bed she looked back at me and smiled and I fell asleep listening to her feet make their way up the stairs. When I woke up in the morning the snow had melted away and it was almost our little secret that their was any snow at all. She smiled at me in the morning and I smiled back as if we were part of some sort of secret club of midnight snow observers. That memory came back to me, as many do, by a simple reminder. I am so thankful for her wonder. I hope to always carry wonder like that and make it as contagious as she did. Thank you mom for wonder.

Over the last few weeks Justin and I have been reading together and it has really filled me with a sense of purpose I have not had in a very long time. He has a way of making me strive to be a better person and in the long run I can see how God's hand is drawing us closer. He has a feeling of familiarity about him, a similar feeling to what it felt like to feel snow for the first time, to cozy up to the fire, it's hard to explain, but he is bringing me back to what it's like to be loved and in wonder all at once. We are part of a secret club, and once you fall in love, you know what it is like to be a member haha. So, as a couple we could like to ask for your prayer, whomever of you would read this, for continued clarity and God's calling in our lives. I have never seen myself as much of a mushy person, who am I kidding, but the man has a way of making me feel like the woman I was made to be, I see God working in that heart of his and in mine and I am reassured daily of God's hand in our lives. Thank you Justin for your patience, encouragement, knowing what I need when I need it amazingly, and loving every part of me :)

I have had quite some time for prayer and reflection the last few months and as the new year approaches I am looking back at all God has done in a year and I am in absolute amazement of his grace and mercy. To see the healing he has brought my family and the strength when we needed it, especially during these holidays, is overwhelming. My family overwhelms me sometimes with just how many of us there are, but that is all the more hands to hold you when you are really going through it. And since I am going along with this secret club thing, well, family...you know what it's like to be an exclusive member of the five families (Gutierrez/Evans/Lassos/Sanchez/Castellanos) ;) we need jackets! To my older siblings, thank you for your quiet prayers and support, to the younger, thank you for your tender hearts. To dad, thank you for your hope in me. To all the rest of you crazies, thank you for allowing me to dream.

Maybe the comparison I am about to make is cliché, but it is best how I know to describe how God has been to me lately. I give many thanks to Justin for pointing out the beauty of silent snowfall. When you look outside at the snow falling down it is this mad fury of white, a beautiful chaos of complete silence. The rain pounds, and thunder roars through the sky, but the snow, is silent. It quietly blankets the ground and brings the blinding white to everything, all the dead trees, all the dusty ground and dreary sky, it consumes it all. God has invaded in a similar way recently, sometimes it is hard to see if He has made any progress in me at all until I take a step back from my human understanding and look at the extent of His work, he has been a silent intruder, quietly blanketing all that consumes my life until there is nothing left to see but Him. Thank you God for redemption.

You can't hide the snow, it is bright, bold, and well...honest.

Something To Think About