Where to begin...
For now I will let you all know what my life looks like right now, how God is working, challenges, plans etc.
I just recently returned home from living in Northern Ireland for six months, that in it of itself is enough to keep one thinking incessantly. After mulling over thoughts on who I am and who I am becoming, I can be sure to keep myself busy with family affairs.
I spent six months away from home in a Discipleship Training School that is run by an organization called Youth With A Mission. While there I was able to help with the Belfast base working on peace and reconciliation projects between Protestants and Catholics living there. It was an amazing experience that I am sure I will go into more depth with later. I learned so much about other people, and a lot about myself. However, since returning home I have also realized I have a lot of more learning to do. With new circumstances and challenges, how will I do things differently? How will life be different?
I found out before coming home that my mom has stage three colon cancer. This threw me into a place I am finding hard to get out of. I want to help her in anyway possible but I find myself challenging all those things I was encouraged to about my faith while I was gone. God has an amazing grace however and even though I never would have thought I could be stable in such a place He is making me stronger.
I just want to catch up, the world is moving faster than I can run. I don't want to see life as a ticking clock, sometimes it can seem hard to see it for the beauty when so much can go wrong.
It is the love of a kind gesture for my mom, the simplicity of a kind word, that makes this bearable. God is using others to express His love, but I must be willing to recognize it as Him working. I must realize that God is so much bigger than I make Him, His love does not end with tragedy.
For now I am living life daily, I have been given the chance to start things new, and I want to glorify the God that gave me that chance. I am glad I have the freedom to question what I know, this so far has only strengthened my faith and has made decision making so much more fulfilling.
Yes, things are moving quickly, I know I haven't had the time to figure out how to feel , but I know that I am feeling, I am choosing to move as best I can.
This is for anyone who may identify, and for myself, but more than anything that God would be given glory, He is doing some amazing things, one of which includes standing near me in fear, doubt, accomplishment, loneliness, joy, and growth.
Until next time -K
